“How To Talk To The Opposite Sex”

“Sam and the City”

BROADCASTED: December, 2007

Eager to find out more, I was delighted when Aussie dating expert Alex Coulson from DatingWorkshops.com.au told me he had created a DVD specifically aimed at advising gents on how to meet women “during the day”. I quickly hand it over to Mike and ask him to try out what he learns to see if all this pick-up stuff really does have any merit …

“I do know that no matter what you say, body language works wonders,” Mike explains, demonstrating a little trick he’s picked up along the way.

“When you’re out and talking to a girl, lean back as you speak to her. She’ll instantly lean forward and become more interested in what you’re saying. Anyone looking on the outside will think that she’s really interested in you, not the other way around. It also gives her the feeling that you’re not trying to hard to impress her, and she’ll instantly want to get to know you a little more.”

(I try it next time I’m in a social situation and surprisingly, it does indeed work wonders!)

After he watches the DVD, I ask him if he doesn’t feel that this sort of trollop encourages men to manipulate women, rather than simply be themselves.

“Some men use it just to get women into bed,” he acknowledges. “But most of the time, it gives guys who haven’t a clue a little bit of confidence. The idea is that doesn’t matter what you look like. It doesn’t matter how self confident you are – the reason why this stuff works is that it gives guys the confidence to walk up to any girl.”

While Alex demonstrates how asking for advice, focusing on something he notices about her and then making her feel comfortable can work wonders, it’s the end which is the most pertinent part of the game.

Alex dubs it “the number close”. Yet instead of asking for her number upfront, he impresses that you’re supposed to do it without making it too obvious what you’re actually doing. He demonstrates this by asking a girl he’s just been speaking to on a park bench how to spell her name while simultaneously putting it in his phone. He then asks her to enter her digits and says he’ll send her a text about something they’d been having a chat about.

“Don’t ask for her number,” says Alex, “just assume that she’ll give it”.

And it does work … every time.

It all comes down to the three C’s: Confidence, charisma and being carefree…

“Guys who are successful with women do it without all the seduction mambo jumbo,” says Alex. He calls himself an “attraction coach” and has made a living out of teaching men how to be more irresistible to women.

Alex coulson says the secret is all in the attitude.

But we’re not talking the arrogant, macho, sleazy, alpha-male type of attitude. Nor am I referring to those high-fangled pickup methods or cutesy pickup lines.

Instead, it’s more about that joie de vivre, that indefinable quality that makes you stand-out from the pack.

“Look at the men that attract all the women,” says Alex. “They don’t have any agendas. They just do it naturally. They go out without the intention of picking up, but just to have a good time with their mates.”

Ahuh! So is it the stench of desperation that is the big turn off?

“Exactly!” Alex concurs. “When men don’t go out with a goal, and they don’t tell themselves they must get five numbers and take a lady home, that’s when they’re more attractive to women.”

“Looking for love”

“Today Tonight” Channel 7

REPORTER: Paul Makin

BROADCAST DATE: October, 2006

If you’re searching for love but not having any luck finding your perfect partner then meet Australia’s love doctors. But does their advice really work? We put it to the test.

When it comes to dating, it is a jungle out there. But now there is a special squad of love doctors and they are ready to write a prescription for love.

Alex coulson and his team of dating instructors call themselves “attraction coaches”. They say that years of digging at the cold face of love has resulted in the ultimate black book of secrets. “If you’re not trained to see these type of things, you just miss it all together. Guys miss the signals all the time,” said Stephen. You may end up getting hitched, but first, the name of their game is to get you to first base with the girl of your dreams. “We tell them exactly what to say, how to say it and get them in there. We know all the secrets,” said Alex.

Knowing what women want has resulted in an avalanche of willing students who want the magic formula. Stephen said: “We certainly promote guys to use it with discretion because it is a very powerful tool. It’s a numbers game. It’s like a sales drop. The more doors you knock on the more that will open for you”

But for our test, the attraction coaches want to thaw them out so the girls will melt into their arms. Sean the Founder of ‘Get Hitched’ confirms the outcome: “They had attraction coaches there, pushing them, motivating them and encouraging them. That’s what its all about”. So all in all, a successful night with phone numbers taken by the three guys and girlfriend prospects galore.